Mr. Walker Would be Proud

[for those who don't know, Mr. Walker was my old Scoutmaster...]

We had been getting by without running water since last Thursday. At about 10:30 last night, just as I was returning from showering at a neighbors, I noticed that the dishwasher was running and Andrea had a huge smile on her face. The pipe thawed while I was out, and only a few minutes prior to my return. Hallelujah!

Poking around in the crawlspace, I convinced myself that the freeze wasn't there, but was instead somewhere underground outside (I could tell by how the supply line left the crawlspace that it wasn't nearly as deep as it probably should have been). My master plan was to put a heater under the porch over where the water line was, cover it with a blanket, and see if that did the trick.

Well I never did get the heater, because I didn't really want Andrea to come home from her shower while I was in the crawlspace recovering the heater from where I had last left it. But in preparation for the heater, I did take my handy-dandy emergency space blanket, left-over from the Troop 51 days, and lay it down over where the pipe was (a space blanket is like a tarpaulin with a foil facing on one side).

It could have been a combination of many different factors, but in honor of Mr. Walker, we'll just say it was the space blanket.

The Disenfranchisement Starts Early

The weather man is already on Elias's bad list. The little-man's words to Mommy when he woke up this morning: "Its not snowing."

They were expecting accumulation of less than an inch, so no big loss. But to add insult to injury, though, as I was driving in this morning, the projections for today's precipitation has been revised downward from "one to three inches" to "a light dusting." Whoopee!

Conspiracy theory du jour: meteorologists (particularly in the south) are in collusion with bakers and dairies.

Favorite Moment from the Holidays

Mine was watching Dad come full circle. On the night of the 25th there was no way he was going to play golf with the remaining male faction of the Roberts clan.

Watching the balls fly on the driving range on the morning of the 26th, he was feeling pretty good about his decision.

At around hole three later on in the morning, he was back-pedaling a bit.

By hole six he confirmed that had he known then what he now knew, he would be digging holes in the tee-box along with the rest of us.

By the time I was packing the van up to go home, he was poking around in the basement to see whether or not he had given his lefty clubs to the Goodwill.

My how things can change in a matter of a few days.

Pops, you'll have to post some pictures of the great event here on the blog...if you can figure out how to get negatives scanned into a computer...Maybe there's an "app" for that?

savings bonds

www.treasurydirect.com

This will show you the current value of your bonds, the interest rate, the accrual date and the final maturity. 4% seems pretty low but two of Leslie's appear to be locked in at that. 4% is really high right now for just about any investment. I would recommend hanging on to them until final maturity. Merry Christmas from your personal banker.

Baby-X wishes everyone a Merry Christmas!

We got to hear the heartbeat on Friday! Everything seems to be doing fine with the baby...except that to get this audio file onto this blog, I had to convert it from the M4A audio file I took with the iPhone, convert it to MP3, and then use Windows Movie Maker to make a "movie" file in order to post it on the blog. Silly, but the end result is cool nonetheless. The voice you hear is that of our doctor, Dr. Muasher. She's pretty freaking cool I must say.


Merry Christmas! Love,
Brooke, Heather, Geena and Baby-X

GENIU$ BAR

So, the other day Heather and I went to the Genius Bar at the Apple Store. Without getting too far into the details, we’ll just say that Heather’s iPhone wasn’t working properly (which had nothing to do with Geena putting it in her mouth). So, the guy turns the phone on, sees the error message come up, and then shines his magnifying light thingy into the contacts. He then says that will be $199. Apparently the iPhone has a white strip that turns pink upon water damage (Genius!), so that they cannot be swindled out of replacing “malfunctioning phones” when some donkey drops his into a cup of Dr. Pepper while driving on the PA turnpike while talking to his mom on the phone (I don’t know anyone who’s ever done that…). Anyway, so I ask the guy for his magnifying light thingy so that I can see the metal contacts. They seem to mostly be intact except for a little surface corrosion. Geena obviously has the superpower of corroding tiny copper contacts. [If we could only market this amazing skill!?] Anyway, I ask the guy if they sell a cleaning kit, and he says “No” (Genius!- why sell a cleaning kit when they can just sell you a new phone?). He then says, well, if you can clean it with a little rubbing alcohol, but don’t use too much, then great. Otherwise, we can just get you a new phone (Genius! - they said that, but I think they meant I could pay them to get me a new phone.). Bottom line: I said ‘NO’, I’m not ready to drop $199 on a new phone. I then bought my own magnifying glass for $10.50 at Restoration Hardware, took the phone home, got an old toothbrush, and then went to town on brushing the contacts. I didn’t even use the rubbing alcohol. And Viola! Genuis! The phone worked like new!

And about this magnifying light thingy, it is basically the same thing doctors use to look into your ears. So, no doubt, these Apple Genius Bar peoples are in the back checking out each other’s ears and comparing brain sizes while charging people lots of money for unbroken phones- while at the same time appearing to be very smart, gracious and helping you out tremendously with excellent customer service. Geniu$ indeed. No wonder Apple’s making such a killing.

So, lesson of the day, beware of self-given titles, as they may be true, but they may not accurately reflect who they are truly meant for.

We're Ready

This might be bragging a bit, but we're ready. We're normally fashionably late for most everything, holidays included, but not this time.

Argh!

I'm sure the gentleman was a perfectly nice person, but he had no business using tools. I'm referring to the man, "Old Man Pete" as he was known in the neighborhood, who owned our present home prior to the couple we purchased it from. Pete did a lot of work in and around the house. But he had a particular knack for doing things backward, taking lots of short-cuts, and making step two fit whatever happened as a result of step one. The jig-saw nature of our shop / barn is a good living example of his handiwork.

My frustration at his waywardness came to a head over the weekend as I continued to chip away at the paneling in the room that used to be an attached garage. There was some very curiously placed plywood around the trim to the door leading from there into our kitchen. Not wanting to make my step five have to fit Pete's step four, I had to take the door trim off to remove the plywood. Once off, it became apparent that the trim was the only thing keeping the door in place.

In case you don't know, which you might not -- but if you're installing a door you should -- a combination of the door-frame and the wall hold the trim in place, not the other way-around. In taking the door completely down to remedy this situation, I get a brief shower from a stash of white beans that some mouse thought would make a good Thanksgiving dinner some day. And once down it becomes apparent (by looking at the manufacturer's sticker that is still on the concealed portion of the door-frame) that not only did Pete not really hang the door, he also managed to set an out-swinging door in an in-swinging position.

All is better now. The only thing left to do is to lobby congress to mandate a hand-tool competency test.

Rain, rain, rain!

Rain, rain, rain! I hope you all made it through Ida safely. If I can figure out how to do it I am going to post a picture of a football field turned lake off of Old Rocky Ridge. Water truly is an amazing force!
-Les

Press Conference

[A Presidential press conference from earlier today. Not widely televised.]

[click, click, click]

As most of you may already know…there was a gunperson attack at a military institution late last week. The suspect [click, click, click] is thought to be a gentleperson of male persuasion and orientation. [click, click, click] Now the good news in all of this [click, click, click] is that this Mr. Hasan was a muslin. I think we can all take great courage in knowing that our affirmative action reverse discriminatory polices have ensured that persons like Mr. Hasan are and will be indefinitely retained in publicly funded positions, despite very creditable evidence that would call for contrary procedures. This is a public good that should be celebrated. [click, click, click] [click, click, click] [click, click, click]

But despite the positive GDP numbers we have seen for our most recent economic quarter [click, click, click] it is being publicly discussed in the media that this Mr. Hasan is not cooperating with either civilian or military investigators. In an effort to shore up the interrogation sector, I have called on Fed Chairman Bernanke to begin administering an injection of water-boarding stimulus immediately. [click, click, click]

Now…some of you…may [click, click, click] be inclined to think that this action, and others like it, will somehow darken the US’s perception in the global economy. Therefore I have given Treasury Secretary Geithner additional regulatory powers to have Mr. Hasan retroactively aborted once the stimulus has had a chance to work its way through the system. So as to forestall any hang-ups in the House of Representatives, we have assured by various means that this will be performed without the use of any federal dollars. Such prompt action, and performed in this particular manner of implementation will provide value added services to our economy…creating approximately one real man-hour of work to be divided equally by thirteen immigrants who will be pronounced “legal” later on in my administration. [click, click, click]

Also…[click, click, click]…I am advising the American public…[click, click, click]…that next week…Due to the stress and nature of being President of this great nation…[click, click, click]…My family and I will be taking a brief three-week vacation in an unnamed amusement facility just slightly southwest of Orlando. In my absence, I would like to defer any Presidential responsibilities to my Vice-President, Joseph Putin. Thank you. [click, click, click] [click, click, click] [click, click, click]